Cut Me Feminine
by DietBleach
Summary: Todd has Gender Dysphoria. new chapter up, and it's good! I fell into my groove! Chapter 4- The Call.
1. The First Incision

Okay, uh, this is my first fic so, be gentle please. It's about Todd and how he feels he should have been born a woman. This is m/m, so in other words, it will involve gay relationships, so if you don't like that, leave. This first chapter is short cause I don't really know if anyone will be interested in a story like this.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but if I did, I would use them to my advantage.  
  
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wished you were different? Have you stared at your reflection, right in the eyes, and wished you were thinner? Have you ever wanted to be taller, or smarter, or better looking? What about your gender, does the way you were born please you? Have you ever felt that life might be easier being born the opposite of how you were? Many people do, and some go so far as to change it.  
  
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Todd stared transfixed at his reflection as he stood naked in front of a full-length mirror mounted on the door in his bedroom. He looked down at the piece of flesh dangling between his legs and closed his eyes, imagining his body without the appendage. His mental eyes roamed the picture within his head, his mind changing his penis into the female counterpart and adding two plump breasts. He liked the way it looked, the face in his mind reflecting the expression on his face, a smile. But opening his eyes revealed his body to be much the same as it had been before, if not a bit, ahem, longer, his fantasies causing him pleasure.  
  
"Sick fuckin' freak," he spat at his reflection.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Todd spotted the knob on the door twist quickly and his door began to be pushed open. His arm shot out and the door was pushed back shut and, leaning against it, barring it from being pushed back open.  
  
"What the..." he heard the door opener say in surprise. It was Fred. The Blob. The fatso. The dumbfuck. His friend.  
  
"Uh, I'm not dressed, man," Todd said through the door, "what do you want?"  
  
"I just came up to tell you that I made some food," Fred's deep voice boomed through the wood of the door and into Todd's ears, he was yelling as if the two inches of hollow wood between them would be able to muffle his voice.  
  
"Yeah, thanks, I'll come down later," was Todd's reply. Still leaning against the door, he slid down the slightly rough surface until he was seated on the ground.  
  
There was silence from the hallway and Todd thought that perhaps Fred had left, although he had not heard the large mutant leaving, so he came to the conclusion that Fred was still outside, and after a moment was proved right.  
  
"Todd," Fred said quietly, no longer shouting, "are you okay, man? All you do is sit in that room, and... I guess I'm just worried about you."  
  
"You guess?" Todd flung at the door, "I'm sorry you have to feel something close to emotions."  
  
Todd took a deep breath and waited for Fred to reply. He felt bad for yelling at Freddy, Fred was probably the only person here who was even slightly nice to Todd. Sure, nobody in the boarding house, if you could call it that, really hated him, but their words stung him like the bees he was allergic to. He knew he was slimy, in both the literal and metaphorical sense, he knew he was odd, both looking and in his mannerisms. His hair was greasy, he was pale, and let's face it, ugly. Todd had accepted that long, long ago. But the beautiful thing was that he didn't have to be. There were ways to change his body. He could look good, pretty even. Maybe if he wasn't liked for the way he looked he could be a slut, and liked for what he had, he could be something to fuck. Being used was better than being despised.  
  
Todd realized suddenly that he had started crying. His tears felt like lava as they splashed a trail down his face, smearing the mascara he had applied, an effort to make him look, if only slightly, better. He let out a sob and wiped his nose. Fred, who had still been just outside his door, left as he heard Todd crying. Probably in embarrassment of not knowing what to do.  
  
"What a dick," Todd said through his sobs, "no emotion." He looked down at his sex again, and with little effort, tucked it between his legs clasping his knees together so that all he could see was his neatly trimmed pubic hair, in the shape of an upside down triangle. He admired his handiwork for a moment before standing up and moving across the small room to his bed. He fished through the tangled sheets and found the black laced bra he had stolen from Wanda's room some time earlier in the day. He pulled it across his chest and clasped it in the back. Letting go of it, he moved across the room to his dresser, the bra slipping down to his waist from the lack of breasts keeping it in place. He opened his sock drawer and, rolling a few pairs together, pulled the bra back up and stuffed a roll into each of the cups. He pulled the bra up a little higher and pushed his dick under himself once again. Crossing the room once more to stand in front of the ever judging mirror, he felt incredibly sexy looking at his new features. Grabbing a tube of lipstick, he applied it liberally with unpracticed haste.  
  
"I'm beautiful," he said into the mirror. In only a moment though, he began feeling guilty. After a struggle with the clasp on the back, feeling like a horny freshman practicing for a date with an older woman, Todd threw off the bra and released his sex from the confines of his legs. "You were born this way for a reason," he said slowly, repeating it over and over, "you were born this way for a reason." He wiped at his lips roughly with a tissue, smearing more lipstick than he removed.  
  
In sheer disgust he hid the bra away under his mattress and flicked the light switch to off. The glow from a streetlight outside his window permeated the darkness, causing the room to shine slightly orange, it was the reason Todd had been stuck with this room, no one else wanted it. Truth be known, Todd had once resided in the room Pietro now occupied, until he was kicked out by the white-haired mutant. The light helped Todd to locate his discarded boxers and slip back into them. He threw himself onto his bed and pushed the sheets that had been twisted and tangled away from his body.  
  
If there was one time that Todd truly hated, it was the time between first laying down to sleep, and the actual sleep itself. Laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling, you couldn't help but think. The same thoughts that always occurred during this time and had been for awhile were now occurring to Todd once again. He had tried to hide it from himself, but lately it was becoming harder. He now knew that his mental gender and his physical gender did not match, and being only sixteen and coming to this realization was not something Todd felt he could deal with. But what to do: should he tell someone? They would just be disgusted. Wouldn't they? A voice suddenly broke into his thoughts.  
  
"Hey Todd?" Wanda's voice sounded out in the hall, she seemed slightly annoyed.  
  
Todd turned his body to face the door, but did not reply.  
  
"You... you didn't go through my things did you?" She said slowly, her voice now unsure, as if scared to hear the answer.  
  
A vision of the black bra curled in a heap under his mattress and the various items of makeup around the room popped into Todd's head.  
  
"Why would I do that?" Todd asked, trying to sound as if he really didn't know.  
  
Pause for a moment.  
  
"So you didn't?"  
  
Another pause.  
  
"No."  
  
Todd heard Wanda walk away from his door and he rolled so that he was again on his back, placing his arms behind his head. Ten minutes and too much thinking later Todd's breathing finally slowed and he fell into sleep, a light snore released from his mouth on every other breath.  
  
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Please review 


	2. McMuffin

Wow, it seems people are interested in this story, well then the show must go on! It took me awhile to get this chapter out because I like to write when it's quiet, and there have been people stomping around the house for the last couple of days for reasons unknown to even me.  
  
I'd like to thank Dead Caffeine Junkie for the kind words, thank you to Cu Sith, I suppose it might be considered M/F, but then again, his body is still that of a dude. For now at least, uh, Thank you Strawberry Daquiri for your applause, and finally, thank you to Saiyuna, I read your review and thought, what are they talking about, it doesn't give him pleasure. Then I read the first chapter again and a light bulb clicks on in old bleach's head, sorry about that, it will not happen again.  
  
Before we continue, I would like to say that feel free to tell me what you'd like to see, I'll take it as a compliment that someone's actually interested. I still haven't decided who Todd will be paired up with in the long run, so voice your opinion, just know that it will not be Scott, Fred, Evan, Logan, Xavier, Beast, Jamie, or any female character. I was thinking maybe a new recruit but I don't know.  
  
ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
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The heat of the sun's rays on his face was what had woke Todd, his eyes opening and pupils shrinking as the sunlight hit his face. Rolling away from the waves of heat, he closed his eyes again and listened to the sounds of the house. The building was still; not a single person went about their business on the floor below him. That could mean only one of three things, that everyone was still asleep, or that they had all left. That, of course, left the third option, that a serial killer had entered the house while everyone was sleeping and had ruthlessly killed all occupants inside except Todd, but one could only be so lucky  
  
The central air, one of the rare perks Todd found in life, kicked in and began cooling the house, the sound it made as the cool air ran through the vents and into the house making Todd tired again. Finally checking the clock on the wall, he found that it was much later than he thought it had been, half past ten. Yawning, he stood up, stretched, and got dressed in a pair of jeans with holes here and there and a black tee shirt. His hand on the doorknob, he noticed his reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Goddamn, I look like hell," he said, gazing into the reflection He laughed as he noted the smeared lipstick still on his face from the night before. Sighing, he grabbed a tissue and wiped the offending makeup in question off of his lips.  
  
Makeup had always been something that amused Todd. Some girls wouldn't even consider leaving the house without a gallon of it on their face, whereas guys went their entire life without using it. well, some of them anyway. How is that at all fair? Why should Todd look like shit? Before the thoughts could continue, though, Todd's stomach growled and he went in search of food.  
  
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"So you think there's something wrong with him?" Lance asked, eyeing the last McMuffin left on the table as Fred made a lunge for it. He, Fred, Pietro and Wanda were seated at a booth at the McDonalds a mile or so away from the Brotherhood boarding house. Wanda had asked them all to join her because she needed to ask them something, this something was now clear, she believed there was something wrong with the Toad.  
  
"Now that you mention it," Fred said around a mouthful of McMuffin, "He is acting really weird." He nearly choked on the food product as he sucked it down his throat. "Las' night I went to get him for dinner, which he didn't come down for by the way, and anyone who doesn't eat is messed up one way or another, and he starts crying and talking about... feelings and stuff." Wanda frowned.  
  
"I'm really worried about him, you know?" Pietro nodded, agreeing with Wanda, until now, he seemed to not be paying much attention to the conversation.  
  
"I hadn't really noticed until now," Wanda continued, "but it's been a really long time since he's hit on me, which isn't altogether a bad thing, it's just unusual."  
  
"Well, just because he hasn't hit on you," Lance said, rolling his eyes, "and he was crying, doesn't mean anything."  
  
"No, man," Pietro looked Lance in the eye, "it's just something about him, the way he moves, the way he talks, which hasn't been very much, he seems so detached, like he realized something suddenly."  
  
"What do you think I realized?" Todd was suddenly there, in front of their table, looking at them with a face like a rock, no emotion.  
  
"Oh, hey Todd, nothing, what are you talking about?" Fred tried to cover.  
  
"Don't fuckin' lie to me, man," Todd said angrily, the curse word that fell from his lips causing other patrons of the fast food joint to turn their heads towards the Brotherhood, gasping. "You guys leave me at home to come here together, and now you're talking about me, you should feel pretty fucking good." There was that word again, and again, there was the gasping.  
  
"Excuse me, sir," a pimple faced McDonalds employee said to Todd, rushing to the table, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
  
"I'm going to have to ask you to shut the hell up," Todd spat at the poor guy, "but you don't have to worry, I'm leaving, I'm no longer hungry, yo." He stormed out of the building, bowling down an old man on the way.  
  
A hush fell over the Brotherhood's table as they watched Todd go. What the hell was wrong with him? Sure, anyone would be mad if they heard people talking about them, but not like this, normally Todd was so passive.  
  
"Should we go after him?" Wanda asked, timidly.  
  
"No," Pietro answered after a moment, "I think he needs time to be by himself." There was silence for a moment again before Pietro continued, "and I for one don't want to try and talk to him while he's acting like he is."  
  
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Five minutes later and an uncountable number of curses later found Todd walking fiercely down a street muttering angrily to himself. People ahead of him changed their paths as they saw him stomping towards them. Further down the sidewalk he glanced up and saw Scott Summers and Jean Grey window- shopping.  
  
"They better not say anything to me," Todd said under his breath. But alas, as he passed by, they did.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Scott barely got out before Todd whirled on him and, tears falling from his eyes, punched Scott right on the nose.  
  
"Don't you fucking talk to me! There's nothing wrong with me at all," Todd shouted at him before continuing on. Scott was so taken aback, and Jean as well, that they just stared at his back as he got farther and farther away.  
  
Turning down a side alley, Todd slumped against a wall and slid to the hard and slightly wet ground. Wrapping his arms around himself, he rocked slowly back and forth.  
  
"Why am I crying?" Todd said aloud. "Why do I even care?" He let out a sob and in a more controlled voice said, "Jesus, I'm such a pussy."  
  
Many years ago, When Todd was five years old, his mother divorced his father, a factory worker who had immigrated to America from France in the early seventies, and re-married to a twenty-three year old drug dealer from Florida named Vince. The two had met when Todd's family had lived in Orlando and his mother had received a back injury while water skiing. The pain medication the doctors were giving her weren't satisfying her, and to find something to make the pain go away, she took to the streets. He gave her any drug she wanted and in returned she would give him anything he wanted. Anything. The acts she performed were later described in great detail to Todd while Vince felt him through his clothes.  
  
As Todd sat in the alley, all he could think about was the way Vince had touched him. At the time, Todd hadn't known what Vince was doing to him, he didn't know that it was wrong when Vince made him wear dresses and made Todd putt his hand on the older man's slowly rising jeans.  
  
Years later, Todd had found himself sitting in a therapists office, pouring his heart out to the elderly woman sitting in the chair opposite him who was slowly nodding her head. "I know it sounds sick," Todd had told her, "but I think I love him. It was last year on my eleventh birthday that he... he made love to me, and I knew I loved him. He came into my room that night and told me that I was a man now and I needed to be "initiated", at the time I didn't know what the word meant, but I remember that night like it was yesterday."  
  
"Todd," the woman, Barbara is what she had told him to call her, said, "I know it feels like love, but it's not, he hurt you badly," she said, gesturing towards the cast on Todd's left arm and the various bruises on his face, "he was just using you. You weren't ready for sex, and he brought it to you, and doing so he damaged you emotionally as well. You don't love him, you just think you do."  
  
"I wasn't ready for sex then," Todd said, his mind now back in the present, "but I do believe that I am now." Standing up, he laid out a plan and exited the alley.  
  
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Todd stood staring at the dress on the dummy in the middle of the old department store. The dummy's skin was white and smooth; its eyes were the same. Its arms jutted out in a peculiar way and its legs were wide, spreading out the fabric. He passed it and continued on in search for everything he needed. His pants were slightly heavier than when he had entered, a tube of lipstick, some scissors and other various makeup had somehow mysteriously found their way into his pockets, or at least that's what he would say if he got caught.  
  
"Can I help you, sir?" A woman's voice came floating out of nowhere, causing Todd to jump and spin around.  
  
"Jesus Christ!" he said in his surprise, causing the woman to frown. The frown sent wrinkles through the rather pretty face. "Uh, sorry, what now?"  
  
"Help?" She said again. Todd stared at her blankly. "Do you need any?"  
  
"Oh," he thought about it for a moment, "I... I guess." The woman smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Blue eyes.  
  
"So what exactly is it you're looking for?" She asked.  
  
"Um, a dress I guess," hey, that rhymes, neat, "something kind of sexy, but not too revealing."  
  
"For your girlfriend?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure," he said, smiling a knowing smile that the sales woman seemed to find a bit odd.  
  
"Er, what size is she?" Todd thought for a moment, thinking of how to reply.  
  
"Same size as me," he said in a matter of fact tone.  
  
Todd and Sarah, for some reason she felt she needed to tell Todd her name, walked around the store for an hour before they finally found what he was looking for. Sarah would suggest an item and Todd would grimace, Todd would suggest something and Sarah would shake her head. How the hell was he supposed to know what was good and what wasn't? What she chose was no better. He stood now at the register as Sarah rang up the clothing and he forked over the money for the apparel. He opted not to steal the clothing, as it was much harder to hide than makeup. Sarah said goodbye as Todd said adios, and then he was out the door. He would lay low for awhile before changing; he wanted to wait till dark. He would then head over to the Juiceboxxx, a gay club downtown and try to charm his way in. Well, he never was much of a charmer, maybe he would sneak in through the back. Either way, he was going to find a guy, and he was going to be fucked like a woman until he was one. It would be a long time before the sun went down, and he wasn't going back to the boarding house.  
  
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A/N- I feel pretty good about that chapter. I don't really know what Todd bought though, any suggestions? Woman's clothes obviously. What do you think a toad would wear? 


	3. The Ugliest Girl

New Chapter for Cut Me Feminine has fianlly arrived! entitled- The Ugliest Girl 

Thanks goes to Warconq for getting me motivated to write another chapter. There's a lesson here, kiddies, all you have to do to get someone to write is to mention the book "Misery" and their next chapter will be out shortly.

Disclaimer- blah, balh ,blah, The only people that are mine are the people you don't recognize, and especially the bitchy drag queen, he/she is my favorite!

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So he was reduced to this, huh? Changing into drag in a gas station bathroom. What a life Todd had. He had walked around the city for hours before the sun finally decided to go down and he stumbled upon an old gas station that was completely deserted except for a young man seated behind the counter reading a book titled "Disco Blood Bath." Todd approached the guy and queried as to where the bathrooms were.

"Out back, dude," the guy answered, "but you need the key." He went back to his reading and Todd stared at him, then all around the gas station then back to "Roger", as his name tag read.

"Well, can I have it?" He asked. Roger looked up from his reading and appeared thoughtful for a moment and then nodded his head a few too many times before giving Todd the key. "Thank you," Todd said.

"Be careful with that," Roger said, dead serious.

Todd pushed open the doors and walked back outside where the sky was slowly getting darker and the temperature was slowly dropping. He turned the corner and found a sign that told him the bathroom was located at the very back of the building. He turned another corner and found that between the cement wall of the gas station and a high wood-post fence, a person sat on an upturned box, illuminated by a bare bulb. Whoever it was had long brown hair and was smoking a cigarette. They had yet to see Todd, and he approached warily.

"Hey, man," Todd said, "what are you doing smoking a cigarette behind a gas station?" The man turned to Todd and frowned. It wasn't an angry frown, more of a thoughtful one, as if he really didn't know why he was back here smoking.

"No one usually comes back here," the voice was raspy and light, "just looking for some privacy." Todd watched as he took a long drag of his cigarette and gestured towards the fence adjacent to him. "Plus, my mom would kill me if she knew I was smoking." Todd stood on the tips of his toes and looked over the top of the fence and saw an old house with a sleeping dog on the porch. "What are you doing back here?" The person on the box asked. Todd looked back at the guy, who couldn't have been any older than Todd himself, and debated whether or not to tell the truth.

"Just needed a place to change clothes," he said, holding up his bag and then gesturing to the bathroom door.

"You need a key to get in there," the guy said.

"I know," Todd told him, "I've got one right here." He held up the key. The man nearly fell off his box.

"You got the key!?" he asked, sounding extremely surprised. Todd nodded slowly, wondering what was so surprising about obtaining a key for a bathroom. "From Roger?" Todd thought back to when he was in the gas station and remembered that the name on the name tag had indeed been Roger.

"Yeah, that's what his name tag said," Todd told him.

"Wow, he must like you or something," the man said. Still not getting it, Todd asked him what he meant. "Roger never gives the key to anyone, believe me I've tried getting it, he thinks they'll steal it or something, I guess." Todd remembered back to how Roger had actually had to think about giving Todd the key and he couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I won't keep you any longer," the guy said, "go on and get changed." Todd nodded and slipped the key into the lock and slowly opened the bathroom door. Before entering, he turned back to the guy on the box.

"I'm Todd, by the way," he said. The guy on the box took another drag of his cigarette before answering.

"Parker," he said.

As soon as he stepped into the bathroom the lights came on automatically and Todd could tell that Roger really had never given out the key before. It was the cleanest gas station bathroom he had ever seen. It really was quite amazing; it even smelled like lemons.

Todd stripped his clothes off and looked at himself in the mirror. The mirror reflected everything from his navel up and he stepped back a few steps to get a better look at his body. There it was again. Right there where it always was, just hanging around. It's not like it was evil; it just wasn't what Todd had hoped for. He stepped back up to his bag and pulled out the first thing he would need for his transformation, a roll of silver duct tape.

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"I'm worried about him," Wanda said, speaking to the Brotherhood. They had all gathered in their small living room as soon as it was clear that Todd wasn't coming back any time soon. "You saw what happened earlier, something is seriously wrong."

"It kind of hurts thinking about it," Fred said, leaning back into the large sofa he was sharing with Lance, "right here," he said, pointing at his stomach. "I know there's something wrong, but I don't know what and because of that I can't help."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Pietro said, standing behind the chair Wanda was sitting in.

"Where did that come from?" Lance asked, looking at Pietro.

"What?"

"Truer words have never been spoken?" Lance said, "it just doesn't sound like a Pietro thing to say."

"I get weird when I get worried," Pietro told him. They were all quiet for awhile before Wanda finally broke the silence.

"We should go look for him," she told them. They boys all agreed quickly and when all three of them started for the door she said, "wait a second. One of us should stay here, that way, if he does come back, he'll know we waited for him." They all looked at each other for awhile before Fred agreed to stay and wait.

"Call me if you find him," he said as they headed out the door.

"We will," Pietro called back.

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Todd stepped away from the mirror and couldn't help but think how natural he looked. He just felt so right now that he looked so much more feminine.

"This is how it should have been," he said, his eyes became moist for a moment before he wiped them dry. "So I'm no Marilyn Monroe, but I do look pretty good," he said. He had slipped on a red halter-top that exposed his mid section and a black skirt that came to just below his knee. Sure, he was still wearing his old sneakers, and there was nothing he could do about the hair on his legs or around his navel for now, but Todd felt right. Staring at himself in the mirror, a chill ran up his spine and something clicked in his brain. He smiled at his reflection and, with great satisfaction, threw his old clothes into the trash.

He pushed the bathroom door open and stepped out into the soft glow of the single bulb hanging from a wire just outside the bathroom door. Remembering the bulb made him remember Parker and his stomach felt like it was dropping to the ground as he spun around to see if Parker was still sitting on his box. Parker was indeed still there, his cigarette butt smashed into the ground, a look of pure shock on his face. How could Todd have forgotten about him? What was going to happen now? As all the possibilities of what Parker might do ran through Todd's head, a most unexpected thing happened, Parker started laughing. Todd's cheeks burned red and his eyes dropped to the ground.

"I'm sorry, " Parker laughed, "it's just not what I expected you to look like when you came out of there!" He gained control of his laughter and asked, "so, are you dressed like that for a costume party or something?" Todd shook his head.

"I'm dressed like this for me," he said, "This is who I am." Parker was staring straight at Todd again and, just as before, Todd's cheeks turned red and he dropped his eyes to the ground.

"I think that's pretty cool of you, Todd," Parker said, "being who you are and not trying to be something else."

"Really?" Todd asked. Parker nodded enthusiastically.

"You better believe it," he said, "you shouldn't try and hide who you are, and you shouldn't care what people think." Todd nodded his head and shifted his stance on the ground. "I'll see you later, Todd," Parker said as he stood up and hoisted himself over the fence and into his back yard. Todd peeked over the top of the wood posts and watched as Parker reached the back door, looked back for a moment, then entered his house.

"See you later, Parker," Todd said under the bare bulb of the gas station bathroom.

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"So he just punched you?" Kurt asked, looking down at Scott's head being cradled in Jean's lap as they sat on the couch at the institute.

"For the last time, Kurt," Scott said, "yes, that is exactly what happened. I'm tired of telling everybody so just leave me alone, please." Scott had come home with a nose gushing blood and it didn't take long for it to get around the institute what had happened. His nose wasn't broken, but it had bled for twenty minutes before stopping, and there were dark circles forming under his eyes. Everyone was quick to ask about what had happened, and Kurt had sat through the story three times, laughing harder through each telling.

"It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard!" Kurt said, holding his sides as he doubled over, still laughing.

"Yeah, well it isn't that funny, in fact, it wasn't funny at all," Scott told him.

"I think it's pretty funny," Logan said, emerging from out of nowhere. Scott sighed and put on a sarcastic smile.

"Can we please drop it?" He said in an overly sweet voice. "I'm sick of talking about it."

"Just because you don't talk about it doesn't mean it didn't happen," Jean said absentmindedly, thumbing through a magazine. Logan took a seat in a cushioned chair opposite Jean and Scott and they all sat there in silence for a long while before anyone spoke.

"I'm hungry," Kurt said, standing up.

"You're always hungry," Scott said.

"You're always bitchy," Kurt told him.

"That's because I hate you," Scott said. Kurt smiled down at him.

"Hey," he said, holding up a fist, "don't make me punch you."

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Todd left the gas station, barely remembering to return the precious key to Roger before leaving, the man giving him the strangest looks the whole time, and had headed straight for a strip of clubs two miles from the boarding house. He stayed as far away from the boarding house as he could while he made his way to the clubs. Twice he swore that he saw Lance's jeep drive past him and twice his heart skipped a beat.

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"That is the ugliest check I have ever seen," Lance said, pointing to a person walking on the sidewalk at a brisk pace as he, Pietro and Wanda continued there search for Todd.

"Cute outfit, though," Wanda commented.

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So here he was, exactly where he wanted to be, right? Todd had found what he had been looking for. Lines of gay clubs, all of them booming with business, were laid out before him. He walked straight in the door of a club called "Cherries" and bowled over a drag queen just to get inside. A big guy with bleached hair stopped him on the way in and asked him for his so identification.

"I'm twenty one," Todd lied to the man, it was extremely obvious that what he said wasn't true.

"I need to see some identification, kid," he said, "or you can't go in." Todd sighed and was about to leave when the drag queen he had knocked over on the way in hobbled up to the where Todd was standing.

"You broke the heal on my new pumps you bitch!" The queen said in the most feminine voice Todd had ever heard, the only thing hinting at his sex was his five o-clock shadow.

"I'm sorry, sir, I mean ma'am," Todd said.

"That's not gonna bring these back!" she said, thrusting the shoes at Todd and giving him a shove. The bouncer guy stepped up and told the drag queen to back off.

"Hell no I won't back off," the queen said, and pulling her hand back as far as she could, bitch slapped the bouncer. Todd's eyes flew open and his jaw hit the floor. The bouncer was just as shocked as Todd, probably more so. Todd had no idea what he would do back, but he got his answer when the bouncer wound up and slapped the drag queen back. As the bouncer and the drag queen fought it out, Todd slipped into the club and into a new chapter of his life.

A/N- Next chapter will contain explicit and dark scenes.


	4. The Call

Okay, so chapter four is here, and may I say, it's a good one. Compared to this chapter, the other ones kind of suck. I guess I finally fell into my groove. Anyway, I wrote about half this chapter last week, then wrote the rest yesterday after going to the musical 'The Producers'. It was frickin awesome, go see it!

Chapter four- The Call

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The ambiance of the club "Cherries" was very casual and low-key. The room was thick with smoke as Todd made his way through the crowd, being careful not to bump into anymore drag queens, and over to a an unoccupied booth seat towards the back of the club. There were people dancing and a few doing karaoke and generally having a good time. Todd, however, felt out of place, he wasn't as good-looking as anybody else in the club, and he wasn't as confident. Everybody he looked at seemed to fit exactly where they were, but looking down at his hands folded in his laps, Todd wondered if he would be successful in his goal to be fucked.

A handsome man who was obviously a waiter sauntered over to where Todd was sitting and took the seat opposite him, and in the most flamboyant way imaginable, produced a small notepad from his pocket with a huge flourish of his arms. He smiled at Todd and gave him a wink as he flipped the notepad open.

"Hey there, Sugar," the waiter said in such a sexy voice that had Todd been in a better mood, it would have grabbed his attention quick. Todd smiled meekly at the waiter and pulled his arms up onto the table, flipping his head so that his hair was out of his eyes.

"Hi," Todd said. The waiter's grin diminished into a sad smile and he reached over and grabbed Todd's hand, rubbing it slowly.

"Something got you down, Sugar?" He asked. Todd nodded and laughed a little.

"It's all a bit overwhelming, you know?" Todd said, gesturing to the controlled chaos around him.

"I think I know what you mean, Sugar," the waiter told him, "listen, I'm gonna go get you something to drink and you can tell me all about it, I get off in about fifteen minutes." That sounded okay to Todd, maybe having someone to talk to would help. "I'm Kyle, by the way," he said, and got up and left.

Waiting for Kyle to return, Todd surveyed all the things going on around him. A very drunk woman, who was most likely here with some gay friends, fag-hags they're often called, was being gyrated against by a very buff and very gay man in his underwear as she squealed with joy and spilled her drink all over her clothes. Todd spotted the drag queen he had bumped into outside the club suddenly emerge from somewhere by the door with a ripped dress and a triumphant look on her face. Todd ducked down low in his seat as she passed him, not even aware that he was there.

Kyle returned just as Todd was giving up hope, he held in his hand two drinks, both similar in appearance, and offered one to Todd. Kyle beamed when Todd accepted it and took a sip of his own drink.

"So, Sugar," Kyle said, wrapping a piece of his hair in a rubber band he had pulled from his pocket, "what's going on with you, why so glum?" Todd took a deep breath.

"Well, I guess it started a few months ago," Todd told him, "actually, I guess I've always known in the back of my mind, but just a few months ago is when I fully came to realize that...."

"You're gay," Kyle interrupted him nodding knowingly.

"Yes and no," Todd said, "I came to the realization that... I should be a woman." Todd said, looking down at the table.

"I'm sorry, Sugar, I couldn't hear you," Kyle said.

"I realized," Todd said loudly and with confidence and with a smile on his face as if he had just realized that it was an amazing secret, which it kind of was, "that I should be a woman. It's my destiny."

"Wow, Sugar, you're still just a baby, and you came to that realization?"

"I'm not a baby!" Todd laughed. "I'm sevent- I mean, twenty-one." This time Kyle was the one laughing.

"Sugar, I know you're not twenty-one," he said, "everyone can tell you're much younger, haven't you seen they way they look at you? They're like vultures." Todd had honestly not noticed any of the looks people had been giving him. He gingerly took a sip of his drink, hoping it would contain alcohol but realizing it was just coke. "So go on, Sugar, tell me more," Kyle said.

"Oh, yeah, well I live at this boarding house," Todd continued, "and one of the people that live with me is this chick named Wanda..."

Kyle interrupted him again, "why do you live in a boarding house, Sugar?"

"That's a different story completely," Todd said, "anyway, so everyone else was out doing something, I think they were at the mall or something like that, and I didn't feel good so stayed home. They had been gone for quite awhile when I found myself in Wanda's room slipping into some of her clothes." Todd smiled, "I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, wow, this is me, this is how it should be. And then I heard the door open downstairs and I had to practically rip the clothes off and run back to my room. Wanda went into her room and immediately knew I had been going through her stuff, she came to my room and told me to keep her out of my sick fantasies!" Kyle started laughing when Todd told him the last part, the only problem was that he had been taking a sip of his drink at the time and spit out an entire mouthful of the liquid onto the table and started choking. "Oh, my God!" Todd laughed, "are you okay?" Kyle nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "I think I'll be okay." Todd and he shared a quiet moment as they looked across the table at each other and Kyle once again found Todd's hand and started rubbing it slowly. Todd blushed slightly and smiled down at his and Kyle's intertwined hands.

"So," Todd went on in a softer voice, "I went back to Wanda's room a few days later and stole one of her bras, and it's been kind of a security blanket to me ever since. I guess I started acting differently because this morning I found Wanda and everyone else talking about me and I guess I kind of freaked out. I ran away from them and eventually ended up here, dressed like this."

"Oh, Sugar," Kyle said. Todd waited for him to go on, but when he said nothing, Todd continued instead.

"I'm just so afraid of what they might think," he said, "it's not that I'm ashamed about... this," he gestured to himself, "but I love them so much and I'd be nothing without them and if they were to leave me then I'd be nothing at all." He wiped a tear from his eye and if he wasn't mistaken, so did Kyle. Todd laughed, "thanks for listening to me." There was a quiet and slightly awkward moment as Kyle stared straight at Todd and Todd stared straight at Kyle's chest, trying not to make eye contact.

"We could talk some more if you want," Kyle said, "in a more private place, I live only a few blocks from here." Todd suddenly had butterflies in his stomach.

"Um, I guess, I mean, if you really want to," Todd said. Kyle smiled over at him.

"Of course I'm sure, Sugar," Kyle said. Todd suddenly realized that this person did not even know his name.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Todd." Kyle laughed.

"Okay, Sugar." Kyle stood up and offered Todd his hand. He accepted it and Kyle pulled Todd up with such great force that Todd was pressed up against Kyle's body, a blush across his face. "Come on, Sugar," Kyle said, and led Todd out the door.

It had gotten colder since Todd had last been outside, even though that couldn't have been more than forty-five minutes ago. Kyle was walking briskly ahead of Todd, occasionally glancing back and smiling at him. Todd studied Kyle's body. He was wearing tight blue jeans that hugged his round butt nicely. His shirt was light green and sleeveless with a flaccid penis on the front with the words "touch me" under it. It showed off his muscular arms nicely. Every time Kyle turned around his blonde hair would swirl around his face in a way that had blood pumping to Todd's duct taped dick.

They had been walking fifteen minutes before they came to a tall apartment building with trees all around it. It had a giant sign above the doors that read 'Heavenly Arms Apartment Building'. Kyle walked up to the door and pulled it open and gestured Todd in. He pulled out a key in a flashy way just as he had pulled the notepad out earlier and Todd couldn't help but laugh. Kyle smiled sheepishly at Todd and slipped the key into the lock and opened the door that led to an elevator that Todd and he rode up to the third floor. They stepped out onto the floor Kyle's apartment was and passed some people who looked at Kyle in disgust.

"They don't like me cause I'm gay," Kyle said, speaking to Todd but looking at the pair of people, obviously a couple, as they passed. The two just ignored him and continued by, taking a moment to stare at Todd and his attire for more than a moment and then went into the elevator.

"That's terrible," Todd said, quietly looking down. Kyle nodded his agreement and led Todd to a door marked, '4-C', and put the key in the lock. He gave the door a tiny push and it slowly swung open.

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Fred sat planted in front of the television, gnawing his nails till they bled in anticipation of the growing mystery as to where Todd was and whether or not Pietro, Lance and Wanda had found him yet. He tipped the bag of potato chips he had been munching on upside-down and let the slivers of fried potatoes slide into his mouth. Fred stood and started to head for the kitchen for another bag of chips when the phone rang. He stared at the phone for a moment before wiping the grease on his fingers onto his pants and picking the receiver up.

"Hello?" Fred said, hoping beyond hope they had found Todd and were calling to let him know.

"Fred?" It was Todd. Fred felt a wave of relief when he heard Todd's voice, but was immediately followed by a wave of panic when he heard the way Todd sounded. He was talking so quiet and sounded so much like he was in pain, his voice thick with fear.

"Todd?" Fred asked urgently "are you okay? Where are you?"

"I need you to come get me, Fred, I'm so scared," he said.

"Tell me where you are!" Fred practically yelled. He heard Todd let out a sob and then take a deep breath.

"Come to The 'Heavenly Arms Apartment Buildings', room '4-C', please hurry."

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A/N- I know I promised this chapter would be rather dark, but I swear the next one will be no matter what.


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